SHIELA HALIM
Oh hello! I've decided t start blogging again now since I'm free on the weekends. This time, I'm trying t keep things low yet at the same time I would love talk about the little things in life.
At 23 - people come and go
posted on Sunday, October 5, 2014 at 7:17 PM | 0 cmnt/s
So yesterday,
I had a conversation with my bestfriend and she mentioned. "We're 23, we are suppose to already be engaged or have someone stable." I told her " Babe we're still young." I don't know if I am saying that to make myself feel better or it is really the fact that we're still young. REALLY.
Most my secondary school mates are married and have a maximum of 3 children. Yes, 23 and have 3 kids. I envy you for being so fortunate in love with so much blessing from the love cupid to fall in love with right guy. (unlike me over here, stupid cupid always give me lots of problems). So this kinda thing, depleted my circle of friends. Honestly, I really think that I was the one who was gonna get married first. It never came across that they actually got married before me! YES. During those days, I had a boyfriend and they don't. & then after graduation, the next thing I know one by one has got married and already giving birth.
As I grow older, like in my late teens, I come to a realization that my prince charming is not coming any sooner due to reality checks. ( wait, i get back to you what i mean by reality checks) Nevermind that I had a bad relationship twice ( I swore never to fall in love again) and my parents wanted to get a separation not once but many many times. & then I turned 18, I had my first internship of my life getting myself ready to fight in the real world, I've seen married/engaged couples cheating with their partner. I even wonder if i get married, will my husband cheat on me with someone from the office like all these men who're married with kids flirting with other younger women, like me :) In the office right now, I do come across one or two who're married and asked me out for dinner and one even asked for my number ever since my first day of work on Jan 08 2014 up till today. It is wrong to be "bestfriends" with a girl you just met a few weeks ago. Of course I do not give up my number or even go on "friendly" dinner. Older men thinks that they can get younger girls simply because we are young.
So tell me how can I not have a phobia to get married?
with that aside
I do have "friends" who thinks they're oh so perfect. Who thinks that I am jealous with her "perfect" life. Yea, you've stopped clubbing and start praying, going for religious classes & getting married of course, like who can miss that out. But that does not mean that you're all "grown up"
and you can look down on people like me who're still partying, don't have a stable boyfriend. Yea, I still party at 23. So what? I don't have a stable boyfriend. I don't have a stable boyfriend not because that I have this "wild" very "open" lifestyle you know. Is just that I accept that mine is not here yet, you know. That also does not mean that I don't have a stable job. Excuse me, I am not a job hopper :) I worked for TS for almost 3yrs plus and reason for me to quit was because I want to changed into an office environment and then I moved on to my 2013 resolution which was to start working at a new environment. & I can proudly say that my CPF and working attitude is def better way better than any of my friends at my age :) I worked since I was 17 with a CPF contribution up till today. So, you do the math. If I ever get married, I don't have problem getting myself a flat :) so just because found yourself an older guy does not mean that your life is better than everyone else. I don't hate you of course. I just wanna say that you cannot run too far from your past, eventually it will catch up with you. :) & this explains why I am single. I have everything I need and ever wanted I just do not have a love life like any of my "friends" but that does mean that I am jealous. I am genuinely and sincerely happy for you. I do not understand why must you put me aside. People come and go, you're just another one who didn't stay in my life.
and you can look down on people like me who're still partying, don't have a stable boyfriend. Yea, I still party at 23. So what? I don't have a stable boyfriend. I don't have a stable boyfriend not because that I have this "wild" very "open" lifestyle you know. Is just that I accept that mine is not here yet, you know. That also does not mean that I don't have a stable job. Excuse me, I am not a job hopper :) I worked for TS for almost 3yrs plus and reason for me to quit was because I want to changed into an office environment and then I moved on to my 2013 resolution which was to start working at a new environment. & I can proudly say that my CPF and working attitude is def better way better than any of my friends at my age :) I worked since I was 17 with a CPF contribution up till today. So, you do the math. If I ever get married, I don't have problem getting myself a flat :) so just because found yourself an older guy does not mean that your life is better than everyone else. I don't hate you of course. I just wanna say that you cannot run too far from your past, eventually it will catch up with you. :) & this explains why I am single. I have everything I need and ever wanted I just do not have a love life like any of my "friends" but that does mean that I am jealous. I am genuinely and sincerely happy for you. I do not understand why must you put me aside. People come and go, you're just another one who didn't stay in my life.
So, at 23 many people come and go. Mostly have their own families and life. The rest are just another pain that I do not need.
& back to my reality checks on my prince charming ...
I will post it whenever I am free :)